Tips On Being A Writer

Recently, my cousin asked if I could give him advice on being a writer. I said sure, and gave him some reasonable tips.  But what I should’ve said was, “Dude, why are you asking me?! I suck at this!”

Tips On Being A Writer (plus, what I actually do):

Reasonable Tip #1:  Read a lot.  Read something in your genre and something outside of it too.  Read something, anything, every day.  And have a thought or two about it, if you can.

What I actually do:  I’ve struggled with this one over the past few years because I get anxious when I read.  Or, I’m already anxious, and something about reading leaves too much brain space for the anxious thoughts to creep in and take over.  So I listen to audiobooks instead.  Having someone else’s voice in my head overrides my own low grade anxiety voices.  Sometimes I listen to audiobooks all night long, so that if I wake up, instead of ruminating on pending doom, I get caught up in the less challenging narrative and fall back asleep.  Forget about assessing the technical aspects of other writers’ craft.  I’m just looking for a good story and a nice voice to help me get through the day (and night).  And maybe my story and voice can do the same for someone else.    

Reasonable Tip #2:  Write a lot.  It’s gotta be a practice or you won’t get anywhere with it. It keeps your writing muscles limber, keeps the ideas flowing.  And it’s not as hard to get moving when a new deadline pops up because you already have the time and energy dedicated to it.  

What I actually do:  Procrastinate.  Tell myself I’m going to write for two hours, but somehow find myself cleaning the bathroom or watching a movie instead.  I have to treat myself like a 4-year-old to get anything done.  Bribery and browbeating work best.  I’m not sure if this is just because I’m old and tired, or because I turned it into an ego trip about writing being my grandiose contribution to the world instead of the lifesaving creative outlet it once was.  Maybe the reasonable tip should be, “Don’t write professionally.”  Because then you have to make a business out of it, and there’s nothing like capitalism to kill the magic. It’s a daily struggle, and it’s never enough.  There’s always an Issac Asimov out there to put your output to shame.  Do it anyway, get something done, and reward yourself afterwards.  Yes, I know the creative process is supposed to be the reward in and of itself, but...it’s not.  Also, invest in some ergonomic keyboards and chairs and stuff.  Writing every day can wreak havoc on your back, neck, and wrists.  Am I selling this yet?        

Reasonable Tip #3:  Hang out with people who read a lot and write a lot.  Join a writing group. 

What I actually do:  Avoid other writers like the plague because they’re either more successful than me or not suffering as much as me.  Try writing groups but inevitably quit because it’s really hard to find people who are on the same wavelength. Same reason many social interactions don’t work.  You gotta find your people. And when you don’t like people (or are scared of them), it’s tough.   

Reasonable Tip #4:  Don’t ask me for advice on being a happy, successful writer!  

What I actually think:  Just because I say I’m a writer, doesn’t mean I’m any good at it.  Or make any money at it.  Or even like doing it most of the time.  I hated the book Big Magic, but I do believe in the big magic of writing or any other creative output.  I also believe that exercising your own creativity is essential to wellbeing, that everyone has a right to this wellbeing, and that our world would be less effed up if this was more culturally accepted.  That said, our culture doesn’t value everyone’s right to creative expression and wellbeing, so to prioritize your own is going to be an act of courage. I’m 100% with you if you choose to take this leap, but know that we’re just falling together.  There’s no net. Screw being a genius or bestseller or blockbuster.  There’s nothing inherently wrong with those things, but we tend to discount the effort unless it falls into one of those categories.  No.  Find what lights you up and find a way to do it.  Don’t worry about what other people are up to (especially not me).  Find the way that works for you.  That in itself is a creative process.  Also, don’t quit your day job.  Worrying about money makes the whole thing a lot less fun.