AI and I

No AI was used in the writing of this blog.

I’m not taking an anti-AI stance. I have my Tasha Tudor-esque fantasies of wearing a gingham apron while growing runner beans and not using electricity. But I also know that reality is a thing. And AI is now an undeniable part of that reality-thing. 

At first I hated AI because I spent 20 years writing my ass off and never quite succeeding at it. Then AI came along with the ability to spew novels on demand in any style. It made those 20 years (and four-foot-high stacks of rewrites) feel pointless. The AI whippersnapper could do it better, faster, and without having to worry about earning a living. I was beat. Cue career change at 43. Not a pivot–those require fast twitch reflexes and I don’t have those. But I did go back to school. 

I made it through 10,000 research papers without using AI at all. It was early days and the issue of plagiarism was off-putting. Then I got a 9-5 that required well-written emails and grant proposals. I couldn’t be arsed to do it but AI could. I started using it, begrudgingly at first, then with growing dependance. 

Eventually I started writing for myself again. I’m mildly hypographic–have been known to write on bagels if I can’t find paper, so the return was inevitable. With it came a realization: If I like writing, if I like seeing how my brain plays with language in pursuit of meaning, order, beauty, entertainment…so be it!

It helps that I don’t rely on writing to earn a living anymore, but I’d like to think the same approach would work for folks who do. It’s your voice, so what if AI can imitate it? AI can’t live the time you spend crafting the piece. It can’t feel your struggle and enjoyment of that process. It can’t value the journey your understanding takes as you work something out on the page.

Yeah, the first draft of this essay sucked. And maybe the draft you’re reading sucks too, but I learned something and gained from it. It was worth my while.

There is still choice involved; still process to be experienced. If I stop focusing on the final product, on maximizing cash and likes, then AI and I need not be at odds. At least not in this regard. SkyNet and the rise of the machines is a different matter.

No shade to anyone who does use AI to write blogs or books or anything else. Choose the tools that work best for your goals.

Of course, I still struggle with AI. I hope the machines don’t rise. If they do, I would prefer C3POs to T1000s. In the meantime, though, I’ll work through the struggle, hopes, and fears by writing about them.