Gut Truths and Belly Rubs

*Transcript of an actual conversation.

Me:

What should I eat for breakfast today?

My gut:

Volcanoes

Deep earth

Steady state

I sustain all

Intuition, psychic ability

Power

Me:

Um, okay.  But seriously, what should I eat?  Seems like a trite and obvious question for a gut, but it tortures me.  The buff guy on Instagram offered to tell me what to eat for $99 a month.  Can you do it for less?

My gut:

Volcanoes

Stars and planets

Earth, minerals, plate tectonics

Geysers and ash plumes

Sleep like the depths of the ocean, the deep of the skies

Dreams like constellations and orbits and galaxies spinning...

Me:  

Right, but I still need to know what to eat for breakfast?  Avocado toast?

My gut:

(grumble) It’s the wrong damn question! It always has been and yet you keep asking it! 

Me:

So not fair! I need nutritional counseling!  I can’t eat earth and stars. 

My gut:

You can and do.  If you listen and feel, you’ll know what I’m telling you.

Me:

And there’s the belly rub.  I don’t like listening and feeling. I just want to be told that I’m doing it wrong (absolving me of all responsibility) and how to do it right (so someone else can fix me).  

My gut:

(rumble) You think it will be easier if only you contort yourself just the right amount that all those shoulds and constraints snap into place and suddenly you’re leading the picture perfect, two-dimensional life of a catalog model who never poops.  You’ll be tall and willowy, striking poses in marble foyers or dusty vineyards.  Because accessorizing is what gives the land its power, right?

Me:

Why am I so scared of hearing you? Of listening to my own inner wisdom?  I knew how to eat when I was baby, before I knew anything else.  Why is it such a problem now?  

My gut:

(gurgle) Because someone is making money off your disconnect.  Someone benefits from you doubting your gut truth. It’s a straight up flat out conspiracy.  Diet culture is the chains that bind you.  

Me:

(Long pause)

My gut: 

You still there?

Me:

Just digesting what you told me.

My gut:

Ha.  I see what you did there.  

Me:

I just want to be fueled and nourished according to the direct needs of my body and spirit without a fake tan middleman making me pay my way into a false heaven where all problems can be solved by losing weight and meeting someone else’s beauty standards. Screw avocado toast. 

My gut:

Yasss!  Can I go back to communicating in stars and volcanoes now? 

Me:

Yeah.  Thanks.