In case you're wondering what the heck I'm trying to do here...

...so am I.

I’ve mentioned in recent blogs what a number it’s doing on my head that the world is opening up at the same time that I’m trying to find an agent for the book I finished during the pandemic.  Every rejection feels like a harbinger of the doom to come with reopening.  It was one thing to exist in my little creative bubble, forced to shut the world out, and just focus on writing.  But now that there’s a possibility of being in the world again, I’m worried about how to do that.  I don’t want to go back to how things were, but I’m afraid that the insights and aspirations of the past year are going to evaporate as soon as I get my second shot.  

I recently did an online trauma healing workshop led by Luis Mujica of Holistic Life Navigation.  It was the most comprehensive approach to trauma that I’ve encountered, and it helped me understand more than ever before.  When the workshop ended, Luis mentioned how much easier it is to work with trauma when we’re surrounded by people who speak the language.  A lightbulb turned on for me, one that I hope will remain brightly lit as the reopening commences.

There are more and more communities learning the language of trauma and healing.  (Speaking of which, have any of you read Oprah’s new book about trauma and resilience, What Happened to You?) But a lot of the world still doesn’t get it.  I understand why--I spent at least 20 years avoiding the word trauma and the baggage that came with it.  The more I learn about it, however, the more I believe that understanding trauma and how to heal is the only way forward for the human race.  We should be learning about this stuff in school, along with ABCs and 123s.

My lightbulb was this: I want to help clarify the language and create community around trauma and healing.  I want to help people understand how trauma affects their minds and bodies.  I want to help create spaces of safety and healing for all.  And I want to do this through the medium of stories. 

Nothing becomes a part of our culture or collective awareness until it starts showing up in our stories.  Not that we don’t have plenty of trauma in our stories, but we don’t recognize it as such.  Nor do we yet know how to adjust these stories to promote resilience. I need to write more about resilience, but here’s a good explanation for you in the meantime.  Sometimes I worry that I haven’t healed myself enough to claim with confidence that a.) trauma is a thing, b.) that it can be healed, and c.) stories and creativity can greatly assist with that healing.  But other times, I think it might be okay that this is a work in progress.  I’m not a brain scientist or a psychologist. I’m in the trenches, trying to figure out how to make my life work as well as possible, just like everyone else.  

So, to get back to the agentless book that I fear will fail to define my place in the reopening world...Meh.  It would be nice if I could sell it.  But I do have a larger platform in mind.  I haven’t figured out exactly how I’m going to build this platform, but I’m grateful to you for bearing with me.  If you want to help with the construction process, drop me a line in the comments:  What are your thoughts and feelings about the world opening up again?  Is anyone else feeling a combination of existential angst and profound inspiration while having no idea how to proceed?  Has your awareness of trauma changed at all over the past year? What new insights do you have about how it affects you personally and the world at large?